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Hey hey

Whining ahead....

Well, hiauts over, did not overhaul anything, actually I had the epiphany kind of breakdown that I am not a good artist and will probably not get a bit of living out of it, so I'm going to university or to graphic design XD
Sad thing, I'm fighting against the facts, but I think I will have to face them sooner than later.

Though maybe I'm just down because of stress which gives me a heck of an artist block in EVERY artistic or creative endevaur I want to or must do.

Time will tell I guess. Summer time, I count on you!

Bit of an update on everything:

I'm currently sewing and finishing the pieces of my collection...ya know, I study fashion design.

I'm under a lot of stress and I'm the worlds foremost procastrinator...and that gives me even more stress! Nasty circle, yes.

So, I'm working on the patterns, working out how best to sew the stuff all the while worring that I will mess up the bleaching of the fabric and than I'll have to buy another 10 meters of it (from wholesaler) and that would be so so bad...
And I have no idea what music to play at the show, how the models should walk and most importantly, what to walk in...drives me crazy..
I can't even listen to music anymore (favorite pastime and a way of relaxation for me...really..I do that for 3-4 hours straight) because I can only see the show in it, how they could walk to it and stuff...

I will touch up my designes and post it here in their final state I guess, might give ya all a good laugh or something

Not to mention my exams! Horrible times ahead.

An the most troubling thing is..I seem to have lost the ability to colour digitaly...maybe because I did not have the time so I'm really out of it? Or I just forgot it alltogether?...this makes me even more depressed than all the other stuff put together...I just..scribble for hours and a mess comes out of the whole ordeal..and it was such a waste of time..truly I lost something along the way..something sparkly behind my chest.

Oh and I have a new monitor, so I can see NOW that all the art I did was so off colour on basically everyones screen that they looked..well..utterly disgusting..I'm sorry everyone, on my screen they looked nothing like that!
I learned..

I can't even enjoy a good read, and I just wanted to start the Spiderwick series too..aww..at least my grandma likes it!

Okay..I realise that I just whine! It was still good writing it out, tho I could go on for pages more, and if your still reading, well, thanks and I'm sorry?



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